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Academy Awards 2014: Belle’s Worst Dressed List

What is there to say about this year’s red carpet except: what.a.snoozefest.  Lackluster gowns, no shows from A-list celebrities, rain that crushed every hairdo and turned every T-zone shiny.  I was so bored that no amount of Prosecco could boost my interest.  But mostly, I just wanted to shove a sock in Ryan Seacrest’s mouth…so, no different from any other year.

Pink rocked it out in ruby slipper red.  Liza Minelli discovered her own blue period.  Jennifer Lawrence falls more than Gerald Ford.  The mother from HIMYM showed up in desperate need of teeth whitener, no word on why she was invited in the first place.  As always, the In Memoriam tribute generated some controversy.

But let’s get to the real stars of the show, the gowns that made you wonder whether the wearers need glasses, dresses so unappealing they make leggings as pants look like a good idea.  Without further adieu, my worst-dressed list from the merely meh to abominable:

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Amy Adams in Gucci Premiere

Let’s start with the controversial selection.  I want to like this tuxedo-inspired dress, but the whole look feels off.  The flat, oddly styled hair and the too dainty jewelry ruin the dress for me.

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Emma Watson in Vera Wang

23-year-old Watson is about 15 years too young for this matronly get up.  The hair is a mess–plastered to her forehead in the front, a messy gym-ponytail in the back.  But I love the rings.

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Kristen Bell in Roberto Cavalli

Veronica Mars goes to the prom circa 1998 complete with tendrils.  If Amy Adams’ look was under-styled, this ensemble is stuffier than a congressional hearing room during the dog days of summer.  But if you want to win the gold medal in the over styling Olympics…

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Lady Gaga in Versace

I almost prefer the meat dress.

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Zooey Deschanel in Oscar de la Renta

With a hairstyle reminiscent of a bad perm, a dress straight off the rack at 5.7.9 and a hot pink chain clutch, this is the perfect dress to wear to the Bayside High prom and the after-party at the Max.

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Anna Kendrick in J. Mendel

Dearest Anna, popping a knee ala Angelina is so 2013, but doing it in a dress from the clearance rack at Vanity is just insulting.  Sheer, daisy-printed embroidery, really?

Anna’s look wasn’t exactly pitch perfect, but my worst-dressed starlet of the night was…

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Margot Robbie made a big splash at the Golden Globes, a vision in Gucci.  But just weeks later at the Oscar’s, all of the ripples have disappeared.

This Saint Laurent gown and the dark purple makeup palette ages the 23-year-old actress by a decade at least. While the darker hair color may look fine on its own, when paired with the dark lip color and the heavy plum blush, the look is too gothic for words.  It takes some work to make a woman this beautiful look bad, it doesn’t happen accidentally.

So who was your worst-dressed?  Most of the looks this year were merely lackluster, but the collection as a whole was deeply uninspiring.

LEAVE A COMMENT

    18 comments

  1. Meredith says:

    I agree with all of these – Amy’s hair was so bad, not sure how Margot Robbie could fall so far, and I really am not surprised at how bad Zoe looked, ugh 🙁

    March 3, 2014/Reply
    • Valerie says:

      I think it was just too much dark makeup, combined with the weirdly fitting dress, that made Margot look strange. The dark hair color completely works on her, but would have been a lot more balanced with more neutral makeup (like a berry lip) and a lighter dress to highlight the contrast between her hair and her body (which frankly wasn’t all that flattered by a dark, heavy dress…she has incredible curves and the dress didn’t do them justice).

      March 3, 2014/Reply
  2. Maggie says:

    The mother from HIMYM was in The Wolf of Wall Street. She played the first wife that he leaves for Margot Robbie. But totally agree, I don’t know where you are going to pull a “Best” Dressed list from. “Better” list is probably a better superlative.

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  3. SB says:

    My worst was Julia Roberts! Surprised she didn’t make yours.

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  4. Jess says:

    Julia Roberts. Hands down the worst. So bad. Ugh I get angry just thinking about it

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  5. mallory says:

    Another vote for Julia! I also did not like Lupita’s dress because of how it fit in the front. She looked like either a boy or someone who had open heart surgery-her chest is too bony for be completely exposed. It wasn’t so much the lack of cleavage-I think if she were just an ordinary flat-chasted girl it wouldn’t have bothered me so much.
    Overall I was not really wowed by anyone. I did like Kate Hudson but I feel like that shoulder-drape look is kind of played by now.

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  6. Victoria says:

    Wow. It seems like you really don’t like Hollywood red carpets! Your reviews are always about how disappointing they are.

    Me, I’m a fashion idiot and I just like looking at pretty dresses. My favorites were Glenn Close and Charlize Theron.

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  7. CB says:

    I probably would have placed Christina Milotti in the same category with Margot. They both did the purple lip (did they go into that together as women that had played Leo’s two wives in the same movie?). What made her look extra atrocious to me was that her dress was white and totally washed her out except for the purple lip. Not a good fashion night from the women of ‘Wolf of Wall Street’.

    Also, another vote for Julia.

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  8. Anna says:

    I loved Amy Adams. The hair wasn’t great, but the dress fit her like a glove and I preferred hers over JLaws peplum style by a mile. Julia Roberts was definitely on my worst list. The top could have been somewhat edgy, but the bottom looked like a sack and made the whole look dowdy. I loved the fit of. Glenn Close’s dress, but the black made it look too severe. I don’t even remember seeing Gaga, but Ga-gag. Kristen Chenowith looked great, as did Kate Hudson.

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  9. Anna says:

    I would have also loved a little more detail last night – everything seems rather simple. I have to say that I did like Amy Adams, even with the boob-peplum, but that’s probably because I like her and she did look pretty, even if the dress was not the fanciest.

    I wondered how the weather was affecting hair choices – there seemed to be more slicked back styles than anything…

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  10. Michelle says:

    I thought Amy Adams looked really pretty, and I liked her dress a lot.

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  11. Ginger says:

    I don’t care how old Lisa Minelli is, the woman needed to wear a bra! she was just plain sad.

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  12. tata says:

    almost feel like kristen bell and amy adams should have switched dresses.

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  13. Alex says:

    No mention for Angelina Jolie in this list? I thought her dress was a shocker. She looked like a portrait of a someone’s Victorian great grandmother – all sepia bosoms.

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  14. Ann says:

    I disagree about Emma Watson’s gown. I think it’s lovely and there is nothing matronly about it. Do women have to show their cleavage or collarbones to avoid looking matronly?

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  15. elz says:

    Amy Adams was not a worst dressed in my book, the very opposite. She employed the KISS method and ended up looking very glamorous. She could have used slightly bigger accessories, but she looked gorgeous.

    March 3, 2014/Reply
  16. jeannie says:

    Elisa Palaky – whatever her name is? Chris Helmsworth’s pregnant wife – WHAT A MESS…it was almost vulgar looking

    March 4, 2014/Reply
  17. GoGoGo says:

    Let’s be honest, Amy Adams should now be required by law to wear this, everywhere, from now on.

    http://eventuresinc.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/70s-fashion.jpg

    I adore this stuff so much.

    March 4, 2014/Reply